Hellboy Review
R: Strong bloody violence and gore throughout, and language
Lionsgate. Millennium Films
2 Hrs and 1 Minutes
Dir: Neil Marshall | Writer: Andrew Cosby
Cast: David Harbour, Milla Jovovich, Ian McShane, Sasha Lane, Daniel Dae Kim
Release Date: April 12th 2019
Hellboy is back, and he’s on fire. From the pages of Mike Mignola’s seminal work, this action packed story sees the legendary half-demon superhero (David Harbour, “Stranger Things”) called to the English countryside to battle a trio of rampaging giants. There he discovers The Blood Queen, Nimue (Milla Jovovich, Resident Evil series), a resurrected ancient sorceress thirsting to avenge a past betrayal. Suddenly caught in a clash between the supernatural and the human, Hellboy is now hell-bent on stopping Nimue without triggering the end of the world.
If there is one thing I certainly will commend this Hellboy on is how much it takes advantage of its R rating through the violence. Right in the first minute, you see a woman get speared and beheaded. The amount of blood that is spilled in the opening catches you off guard and it never lets up from that moment on. When people or creatures get massacred, they get Mortal Kombat-styled fatalities. The fatalities are so grotesque that they kind of make you feel queasy. The movie really goes for a true, gory bloodshed that horror fans will appreciate for the kills are incredible. If there was one thing keeping me thrilled, for lack of a better word, it was seeing how someone would get axed. Unfortunately, that is the ONLY thing that kept me going through this trainwreck.
You should’ve left well enough alone (and Guillermo, too). Ever heard of the phrase, “If it ain’t broke, don’t reboot it?” Well, Hellboy (2019) is the perfect testament to that.
If you’ve seen one movie from production company Millennium Films, then chances are you’ve seen them all. With features such as The Hitman’s Bodyguard, The Mechanic: Resurrection and London Has Fallen, this testosterone-led studio prides itself in bloody action but stays in the realm of mediocrity because of either a weak script, terrible editing, or cheap visual effects. Hellboy, unfortunately, nails all three!
Seriously, does Millennium have an in-house editor? I swear, every single one of their films fall into the trappings of everything I hate about action films. The way this is spliced together is far worse than DC’s Suicide Squad, which was in my opinion the most poorly-edited comic book movie ever... until this came around. In both story (or lack thereof) and the action, you can never savor the awesomeness of a sequence because no shot lasts longer than five seconds. The camera is always spinning around, not showing what’s clear on screen, and when it does, it keeps jump-cutting.
So, what is the story? I don’t know, you tell me. It was supposed to be about Hellboy going up against Nimue, the Blood Queen (played by Milla Jovovich, who needs to stop playing witch-like antagonists considering if anyone saw Paradise Hills at Sundance) but does every contrived thing to not focus on it at all. For a two hour run time, the film moves at a fast pace, but there’s not much of a plot going on as it keeps cutting from location to location without any logical explanation. This movie never gives you time to breathe or comprehend what’s happening on screen. As a reboot, the film throws you right into Hellboy’s world without any establishment of the world itself. Since this is supposed to be a new take on the character for a new generation, the film lacks all the significance of what makes this character cool. David Harbour is great to look at with all his makeup, getting the distinct look of the titular character just right, and even brings his nice own take as well, but he doesn’t have much material to work with. Early on in his introduction, Harbour exhibits a bit of a charismatic energy, but the film immediately deviates to a dark, serious and gritty tone that it forgets to add humor to the lead. Hellboy is supposed to be deadpan and sarcastic, yet the film strips him of those aspects.
I truly feel sorry for David Harbour, who is naturally funny and bodes on the look of Hellboy very well, but the thin script never takes advantage of his talent or creates an identity for him outside of a daddy issues complex which could’ve worked, but is never fully committed to. Hellboy has a decent relationship with his dad Trevor Bruttenholm (Ian McShane), who runs the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense (B.P.R.D.), and the scenes between Harbour and McShane have potential considering if screenwriter Andrew Cosby went in depth with it. Harbour even stated how this iteration is more of a teenager trying to find his place, a little coming-of-age if you will, and while you see those pieces through his scenes with McShane, not much importance is placed on it. Harbour looks like Hellboy, but both the tone of the script and the terrible dialogue prevents him from fully transforming.
Most of the time you’re unable to understand what's even going on or if there is even a cohesive story, for it spends so much time on expositional sequences that never seem to make any sense or tie any threads to the narrative. Because of its fast pace, none of the comedic lines hit when the punchline is delivered. Even then, all of the comedic moments are from the trailer. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE! And because of the choppiness, I was unable to even get a laugh in as I was trying to tie together whatever thread of a story was being presented to me. This movie has no idea what it wants to be because it never commits to an idea. The entire plot is loose and, while there is effort put into some action sequences, the quality is never up to par with the film’s ambition.
If this Hellboy was released the same year as the original, this would’ve been an excellent product FOR THE TIME. Hell, this would’ve been awesome considering its violence and gore, which was unconventional back then. You did have R-rated comic book movies, such as Blade and Punisher, but as far as bloodshed goes, this pushes the envelope. Yet, we’re in 2019 and this is releasing two weeks before Avengers: Endgame and you present your audience with effects on par with God of War from the PS2 era.
You’re subjecting your audience to terrible CG blood and gore that has the same rendering as a video game, minus the controller in your hand. The visuals of the new God of War game from 2018 leaps and bounds over the effects in this. There are even visual effects that look incomplete. The film pushes for a more grotesque and disturbing take, but since a lot of the effects aren’t completely rendered and look half-assed, you’re just screaming,
There’s this awesome, giant fight sequence which is violent, bloody and conceptually fun, but the CGI is so weightless and in your face that it’s distracting so you can’t even have fun with it on that account. Hell, there is even an annoying Warthog with the same antagonistic complex as Scrappy Doo from that 2002 Scooby Doo movie and bears nearly the same bad effects. Okay, this is slightly better, but it’s never consistent.
A lot of the kills that are often done in your face boast with bloodiness as if Lionsgate intended to release this in 3D. So what? Someone died in gigantic spurts of blood. You got Mortal Kombat 11 out in 10 days. And to release this on an IMAX screen, the same month as The Avengers, is a fucking joke and I can’t help but feel embarrassed for it. Seriously, when you’re watching a movie on the biggest IMAX screen in the country and you’re cringing at all the cheap CGI effects, you know you fucked up.
The narrative structure is out of whack and too rushed where supporting characters are introduced but never established as they immediately join Hellboy on his mission without any real motivational rhyme or reason. If there was anyone who impressed me with their performance, it was Sasha Lane who portrays Alice Monaghan, a medium with supernatural abilities. With this being the Texan actress’ first blockbuster role, she does a good job. She’s the only performer who is doing something new, for she’s never done an English accent before. She may be an American, but Lane pulls off such a great English accent that I had to second guess her heritage for a moment. It’s like how Tessa Thompson, another American actress, portrayed another comic book character with a impressive English accent.
But right after we meet her, we get Daniel Dae Kim as Captain Daimio, a soldier who happens to have his own abilities as well that just acts like a complete asshole to Hellboy because… why not? We need some banter in this movie to force a team up instead of just letting this be a character piece.
I can’t count this reboot as a Hellboy movie because this is more of a run-of-the-mill production company product than a real reboot. Even though it resembles some of its source through its visuals, the way the film is executed, falling into the initial trappings of the studio’s catalog, shows how much this movie lacks any real identity. And for that, they should be ashamed.
Never living up to its potential due to a weak script, piss poor editing, embarrassing CGI and a lack of a narrative structure to give its titular character a personality, Hellboy is a true trainwreck that lacks the core identity of Mike Mignola’s most notable creation. There are slivers of its potential and effort because of the grotesque and gothic visuals, but it bears too many flaws to even suggest a home video recommendation.
Rating: 1.5/5 | 33%
