‘Halloween Kills’ Review
R: Strong violence and disturbing material, graphic nudity, sexual content, and language
Runtime: 1 Hr and 45 Minutes
Production Companies: Miramax, Blumhouse Productions, Trancas International Pictures, Rough House Productions
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Director: David Gordon Green
Writer: Scott Teems, Danny McBride, David Gordon Green
Cast: Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Greer, Andi Matichak, Will Patton, Thomas Mann, Anthony Michael Hall
Release Date: October 15, 2021
In Theaters and Peacock
Minutes after Laurie Strode (Curtis), her daughter Karen (Judy Greer) and granddaughter Allyson (Andi Matichak) left masked monster Michael Myers caged and burning in Laurie’s basement, Laurie is rushed to the hospital with life-threatening injuries, believing she finally killed her lifelong tormentor. But when Michael manages to free himself from Laurie’s trap, his ritual bloodbath resumes. As Laurie fights her pain and prepares to defend herself against him, she inspires all of Haddonfield to rise up against their unstoppable monster. The Strode women join a group of other survivors of Michael’s first rampage who decide to take matters into their own hands, forming a vigilante mob that sets out to hunt Michael down, once and for all.
Whether it be his existence in film or in the franchise he stars in, Michael Myers just won’t die… but he will keep on killing. So, here we are again. Michael returns from Laurie Strode's basement to continue his rampage and honestly, his kills in this film are better than they were in the predecessor. The way he kills all these people in Haddonfield, Illinois is bloody, violent, and at times inventive. Usually, Michael will fatally fuck you up and keep on moving, but now he’s bigger, badder, and stronger, too. He straight-up decorates lifeless bodies to bait and intimidate his future prey. He puts production design effort just to fuck with you and honestly, I must admire his craft. He turns his victims into art!
With whatever ambitions there were in the second entry of this “why was this even planned?” trilogy, there comes a bold and authentic moment of terror that had me trembling more than Michael Myers’ graphic kills: the entire community of Haddonfield being in fear over the safety and wellbeing of their loved ones, who were most likely Michael’s victims. Once the second act initiates with people running amuck in a hospital asking doctors if their relatives were checked in, you feel that anxiety. For a Halloween movie that attempts to make a statement about humanity and how — and I hate to say this — “we live in a society,” it’s the only time those emotions came across as human.
Well, that’s all the professional positivity this movie can get out of me.
When it was announced that David Gordon Green and Danny McBride’s Halloween reboot would be a trilogy, we unanimously came together and said, “No.” No matter how you felt towards the 2018 film, which I had a lot of fun with, the conclusion felt definitive enough to be a good bookend to Laurie Strode’s story. Now, with Halloween Kills, you get exactly what we all feared: a thankless second entry that desperately counterattacks the integrity of the first and then some. If this movie was an anime, it would’ve been considered a filler episode because that’s exactly what it is.
The Strode women are completely out of commission with Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) requiring bed rest to heal her wounds, Karen (Judy Greer) grieving the loss of her husband who was killed in the predecessor, and Allyson (Andi Matichak) who needs to tend to them both while grieving herself. Writers Scott Teems, Danny McBride, and David Gordon Green try to redirect their focus to characters from the classic 1978 entry, and the entire Haddonfield community, as Michael rises from the ashes and continues his killing spree. While the film shows potential by displaying how this serial killer’s actions deeply affect the town, the narrative ultimately fails, running around in circles while relying on endless nostalgia bait that’s completely run its course by this point. Fans of the ‘78 Halloween get to see some actors reprise their roles, such as Nancy Stephens and Kyle Richards, while Anthony Michael Hall takes up the role of Tommy Doyle. Apart from that, there’s hardly a point of reference on who to follow as the film plays like a repetitive string of vignettes with little to no progression. For most of its runtime, Halloween Kills moves in a neverending cycle of three focal points:
The Strodes twiddling their thumbs in the hospital
Tommy Doyle and the community of Haddonfield declaring who will be the one to kill Michael Myers “I’m Spartacus” style
And, of course, Michael Myers mowing down the whole town
That’s how the movie rolls and for the most part it’s completely dull, even for fans of the franchise. My in-house editor/bff/and horror fanatic Myan saw this with me and there were moments where she was dozing off. Compared to the predecessor, which thoroughly took the campy route, Halloween Kills doesn’t know if it wants to be serious or campy. The camp occurs at the most inappropriate times and the serious moments are bogged down by atrocious dialogue that repeats itself like it has short-term memory loss. Every character spouts repetitive lines where they self-righteously tell another character that they will hunt down Michael Myers instead of actually doing anything. Everyone is completely useless as Myers’ massacres play like a series of recycled ideas. You come to realize that everyone in this town is a complete dumbass and it lessens your sympathy towards them. While the Strodes once felt fleshed out, this time around they regress in either character or action. Seriously, Laurie’s role in this film is the equivalent of Ian Malcolm’s appearance in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom where she does nothing but create exposition that only makes you interested in the concept of the upcoming film. Holy shit, this movie is the equivalent of Fallen Kingdom because it does the same shit as the rebooted predecessor that makes you feel like you completely wasted your time. You can read my review of that Jurassic film and I assure you that all of my criticisms could apply to Halloween Kills.
The most angering aspect of Halloween Kills, apart from it being repetitive in story and execution, is how it handles its desperate attempt to exist. A majority of Michael’s motivations are reconstructed as significant plot armor that carries him through the film from the moment he rises out of Laurie’s burning house. For a movie that tries to be more grounded in atmosphere, it makes little to no sense. The writers also try their best to evoke their best Jordan Peele and attempt to make Michael’s existence and the effect he has on Haddonfield a metaphor that’s so rote and fails in every regard, especially, once again, when it comes to the dialogue. You have all these great performances working with such an on-the-nose screenplay that holds no weight at all.
What else is there to say about Halloween Kills other than it’s a sequel to a Halloween movie and is significantly worse than its predecessor? I give them this, though: I am intrigued by what Halloween Ends is going to be because I’m ready for Myers and his movies to be buried in a coffin once and for all, right next to remains of the Jurassic World movies.
