Godzilla: King of the Monsters Review

PG-13: Sequences of monster action violence and destruction, and for some language

Warner Bros. Pictures, Legendary Pictures

2 Hrs and 11 Minutes

Director: Michael Dougherty | Writers: Michael Dougherty, Zach Shields

Cast: Kyle Chandler, Vera Farmiga, Millie Bobby Brown, Bradley Whitford, Sally Hawkins, Charles Dance, Thomas Middleditch, Aisha Hinds, O'Shea Jackson Jr., David Strathairn, Ken Watanabe, Zhang Ziyi

Release Date: May 29th 2019

---

The new story follows the heroic efforts of the crypto-zoological agency Monarch as its members face off against a battery of god-sized monsters, including the mighty Godzilla, who collides with Mothra, Rodan, and his ultimate nemesis, the three-headed Ghidorah. When these ancient super-species - thought to be mere myths - rise again, they all vie for supremacy, leaving humanity’s very existence hanging in the balance.

Ah shit, here we Go(dzilla) again.

I’m just going to lay it down on the line: I don’t have much knowledge of the geekdom around Godzilla. This might be because I was born the year that Roland Emmerich’s adaptation came out and my Grandmother, or somebody in my house, owned the film on VHS, but nobody ever touched it (for good reason). Then, when WB decided to put out their take on Godzilla in 2014, people were stoked, and so was I because that was going to be my introduction to Godzilla. Safe to say, I was pleasantly disappointed in Gareth Edward’s take. I appreciated its style and the level of creativity that went into the production, especially with everything regarding size and scale for the action sequences, but there was a lack of Godzilla.

With this sequel, Godzilla: King of the Monsters, you get a lot of Godzilla. It’s for better and for worse, but this is the positive division, so let me tell you about the “for better.” For this being director Michael Dougherty’s big blockbuster debut after delivering a lot of low budget horror, he does a fantastic job continuing some of the aspects from the predecessor that worked, first being the play with scale. When you see the destruction caused by the monsters in various environments, it’s terrifying and intense whenever the camera tilts down to the people in the vicinity of that destruction, which is a very true staple to monster movies of this type. Whether it’s Monarch and the military flying their crafts in the air to aid Godzilla in battle or people being swept away by the debris of Rodan, you feel engaged in the entire rollercoaster experience.

An aspect I do love is how clear the fights between all of the monsters are. The movie is as loud as a Michael Bay movie and will cause permanent ear damage if you go see it in IMAX, but the cinematography (done by Lawrence Sher who did the cinematography for The Hangover trilogy, of all things) is downright beautiful as he displays all of the Kaijus in their gigantic, monstrous glory. Even when you’re in the foggiest of places such as the Antarctic, you can still get a clear view of the monsters. There are plenty of shots that are gorgeous and make a chilling impact. There will most likely be a moment where you’ll say:

We already know how much of a beautiful big boi Godzilla is because of the previous film, but now we get a shit ton of other monsters. The VFX does justice to the designs of all these popular properties. The designs of the other Kaijus and monsters are fully realized and glorious to see. Mothra is beautiful, AS SHE SHOULD BE. King Ghidorah is terrifying and magnificent. And Rodane! OOOH!

Hey, this is my introduction to the Kaiju monster world and I was swept up. Whenever the monsters are on screen, fighting away from people, the movie is at its best.

But everything else… oh God.

One day there will be a Godzilla movie with human characters I give a shit about, but today is not that day bruv. You might be reading this and asking, “When has a big blockbuster monster movie featured a resonant human character you root for in the midst of monster destruction?”   Kong: Skull Island. Believe it or not, Kong: Skull Island had a dimensional character that you resonated with and rooted for and it was friggin John C. Reilly. He excelled as a stranded WWII soldier far from home who became accustomed to the island. Kong: Skull Island is proof that you can make a monster movie with a developed human character, so when I say how atrocious the story of Godzilla: King of the Monsters is because of its human characters, you have to believe me.

Let me describe what the story is about. The film focuses on a family that became broken after the events of Godzilla. Now, after birthing Mothra with a division of Monarch, paleobiologist Emma and her daughter Madison get captured by an eco-terrorist organization because of a device Emma co-invented called the Orca, which creates radio wave frequencies to control monsters’ aggressive attitudes. Now, her ex-husband Mark (another Monarch employee and co-inventor of the Orca) must rescue them with the entire base of Monarch. And yeah, it’s stupid. Sometimes it’s convoluted, but other times it’s simplistic. But the reason why it doesn’t work is because the entire narrative is focused on a wild global goose chase for a device in the hands of a broken family squabble who have the fate of the world in their hands.

Just by the description of the Orca, you can tell the role it plays in the story. The film is so damn lazy with its setup that it must use a device as the major plot point, or deus ex machina.

It might be a dumb (baby) reference but remember how Rugrats satirized the stupidity of Godzilla in their Reptar episodes? Well, this plays it kinda seriously. The tone of the film is serious when it wants to be, but then decides to go campy when it attempts to get humorous and ultimately comes across as annoying. Bradley Whitford plays this scientist who is supposed to be the comic relief, but none of the lines hit because of his monotonous delivery or the bad dialogue itself.

I know us Americans are dumb. I’m not afraid to admit it. We’re idiots, and because of us being idiots, we love dumb monster movies. But I don’t appreciate it when screenwriters think the audience is so stupid that their script is comprised of characters explaining what’s happening on screen during a monster battle, spoon-feeding its audience with explanations for why a monster is able to do certain things. Nearly every line of dialogue is either spoon-feeding the audience with descriptions of events we’re already aware of, or screaming.

There are also unexpectedly convenient events written for the sole purpose of moving the plot along. Seriously, there is a scene in the middle of a fight between Godzilla and Ghidorah where a video transmission comes out of nowhere for the Monarch team where the military general says, “We made a weapon designed to eradicate these Kajus and it’s ALREADY ON THE WAY.”

If you think that’s stupid, there’s plenty more to witness. Kong: Skull Island might’ve been weak in its screenplay, but it had an actual structure of a story. You were able to mark the beats which stringed the narrative together. This movie is so frantic and bloated that you can never squeeze in a gasp of air.

The cast performances often vary. Kyle Chandler is kind of mumbling every line in a brooding tone thinking he’s playing Batman or something. Millie Bobby Brown doesn’t have much to do except scream and cry. Then, two-time Academy Award nominee Sally Hawkins is wasted. You don’t waste a good Sally Hawkins like this!

While I do love how clear the monster action is, the film is shot like a generic summer blockbuster. It plays with scale, but it's never done in a way that makes the action fun or exhilarating, and when it does it’s only in sparse moments. It lacks all of the inventiveness of the predecessor, such as its use of sound mixing just so the action can be epic, loud, and destructive. When monsters are brawling on fields with no signs of life, such as the Antarctic, the action is fun. But when you get to cities with people that you know are dying off-screen, it’s just the same ol’ stuff you’ve seen countless times. But kudos to the movie for being a live action DBZ-like movie with a monster story that is taken straight from How to Train Your Dragon 2. I’m not kidding. Just see for yourself how, note for note, the second act of this Godzilla movie becomes How to Train Your Dragon 2. But, as far as Kaiju and Dreamworks movies go, nothing will be able to top this monster movie and I’ll be damned to see one try:

Now, making her first ever guest appearance on the site (since she was my guest for the movie) is Fletcher Peters from Screen Queens with her take.

How has a sullen Millie Bobby Brown screaming her lungs out become so satisfying? Her character in Godzilla: King of the Monsters is pointless until she does so. Actually — the entire movie is pointless until she begins screaming, as this is the point the monsters finally begin fighting.

Normally, I can remove myself from a blockbuster film’s lackluster handling of exposition, especially when it comes to fun monster films. This one is unforgivable. The exposition is absolutely lifeless, focusing so intently on dull characters with little to no personality. Even worse — this ends up taking a great deal of run time away from the true stars of the film. Godzilla: King of the Monsters is full of anticlimactic war prep and poorly executed anticipation.

Let’s talk about the monsters, then. They’re cool, but their fight choreography is lame. If the film had focused less on stupid subplots and irritating characters, there would be more at stake as the monsters began to spar. Perhaps watching the nation’s capitol in the hands of fire-breathing monsters instead of fire-breathing humans was therapeutic — this was the sole touch of spectacle I found entertaining in the film. To sum it up: it’s got some monster action, but the human subplots are just so tedious that the film is ultimately unfun.

Bigger, dumber, and duller than before, Godzilla: King of the Monsters boasts monstrous fun, but it's script is a Kaiju-sized migraine to sit through.  

Rating: 2.5/5 | 53%