Venom Review: Sony and Their Stupid Symbiote
PG-13: Intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and for language
Sony, Columbia Pictures, Marvel Entertainment, Tencent Pictures
1 Hr and 52 Minutes
Dir: Ruben Fleischer | Writers: Jeff Pinkner, Scott Rosenberg, Kelly Marcel
Cast: Tom Hardy, Michelle Williams, Riz Ahmed, Scott Haze, Reid Scott
At long last, after much anticipation, we have “Venom”, the movie nobody except Sony wanted. Since they don’t have their precious spider to milk for cash anymore, they have to substitute it with something else… Something that is spider-related but not quite. Oh wait, SYMBIOTE! It’s like Marvel raided Sony’s dungeon and saved Spider-Man and some of his villains and left them with the film rights to their third-tier characters. Venom was somehow left behind with the bunch AND NOW WE HAVE THIS MOVIE! That Sony Universe was going to happen one way or another.
Following a scandal, journalist Eddie Brock attempts to revive his career by investigating the Life Foundation, but comes into contact with an alien symbiote that bonds with Brock, giving him superpowers as long as they share the same body.
THE GOOD
If there is one decent aspect to “Venom” it is Tom Hardy as Eddie Brock and Venom. I do love the chemistry between Eddie and Venom (if that makes any sense). He has great banter with himself and the quippy symbiote that lives in his head. Oh yeah, that’s something that was never established in any of the trailers. “Venom” is not a threat, but instead a fucking comedian. Hardy does deliver a good performance that could’ve been redeemed if the material he was working with was stronger than the cringefest of the script he was given, and his American accent is improving. His accent here is thoroughly consistent and his comedic timing keeps the film entertaining.
As a matter of fact, the film itself is fun to watch overall. When it gets going, it gets going. While it is so damn flawed, which I will get to in a moment, there are genuine laughs that will come out of you, whether the scene is intentionally funny or not.
THE BAD
So many flaws, so many choices.
Let's start off with the film’s biggest issue: it’s tone. Based on all of the trailers that “Venom” was marketed with, I’m sure most people will be baffled to find out that this isn’t a dark anti-hero narrative. No, instead we were given… a comedy. Not a dark comedy, but a screwball comedy that is reminiscent of “Liar Liar”. You know how Deadpool is referred to as the merc with the mouth? Well, “Venom” is the symbiote with the silly.
While the PG-13 rating is tame, they were set to have this Venom go face to face with Spider-Man one day. In order to do that, they have to emulate the same tone as a MCU movie. When Venom is in Eddie’s body it becomes a two-man act routine like Jim Carrey in “Liar Liar” or “The Mask”. Eddie is the dummy and Venom is a ventriloquist with the power to make you indestructible and have cannibalistic tendencies. You’re going to laugh a lot during this, whether it is intentional or not, because the film is riddled with so many plot holes and bad dialogue. So, when the movie tries to get serious, you can never take it seriously because of how awful the script is and how poorly-written the characters are.
Tell me if you’ve heard this before: a guy who is good in his occupation, but is a wild cannon, who listens to no one but himself and doesn’t play by the rules. Oh yeah, that’s every superhero from the early 2000s, from Johnny Storm to Johnny Blaze.
“Venom” is a film that should’ve been made a decade ago, but even in 2008 this would’ve been 2000 and late because that was the year superhero movies reached their peak. This follows a lot of the cliched tropes of early 2000’s superhero movies, especially with the numerous sequences of our protagonist getting into crazy antics as they transition into our “hero”. It’s supposed to be terrifying when the symbiote takes over, but instead you get something that is incompetently comical.
At a point, this film becomes as stupid as any terrible superhero movie where Eddie partakes in craaaazy antics as part of his transition journey to become Venom. There are sequences that are as stupidly on par with:
Eva Mendes using an eight ball in “Ghost Rider”
Any given scene in “Fantastic Four” (2005)
Cool guy jazz hands Peter Parker in “Spider-Man 3”
Playground fight sequence from “Daredevil”
And YEAH, of course Halle Berry smelling a cat and playing basketball in “Catwoman”.
OH YEAH! It gets close to that level of cringe
The story is primarily set on Eddie trying to get back with his ex Annie, played by Michelle “I need a better agent” Williams, but never for a second do you give a shit about their relationship because of how poorly-established it is. In the opening we see Eddie is engaged to Annie, but because of his recklessness he inadvertently gets her fired. She labels him as self-absorbed and selfish and then proceeds to break off their engagement because of her job.
UM, ISN’T THAT A BIT SELFISH?! IF NOT SHALLOW?! Fuck love. Screw working things out like couples do. The credibility is tossed out the window because to be engaged means that you were with a person for a long amount of time and loved them through their bullshit. It would’ve been effective if they were just boyfriend and girlfriend with no engagement because she didn’t see him through his actions. Because you’re engaged that means you know who your fiancé is and you know their character. In reality, they would’ve worked it out and maybe argued, but since this movie world is crafted shoddily, none of these things happened.
Riz Ahmed has proven himself a great actor, but here he is so over-the-top. I get that his character is supposed to be the Lex Luthor of this world but, like the actor who portrays the current incarnation of Lex Luthor actor, he is doing way too much. It doesn’t help that he speaks like Donald Trump at times, dropping phrases such as “fake news”.
Tom Hardy is trying, but fuck his dialogue is bad. The entire narrative of the film is a damn joke and, while it’s entertaining, “Venom” lacks substance and memorability for you to give a shit about the Sony/Marvel non-Spider-Man universe. What could’ve been a great story is now a fucking joke. You turned one of Spider-Man’s biggest foes into a damn joke. While I am laughing, it is most certainly AT them, not with them. Scenes that are supposed to be humorous often flop, and when characters do stupid things (which is often) this turns into one of the best unintentional comedies of the year.
If this was 2003, I would’ve been praising this CGI work because it would be considered incredible… if this was 2003. But it is 2018. We’ve had films such as “Blade Runner 2049” and “Ready Player One”. Yet, this CGI work is on par with “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”. a lot of the effects are bad in this. You can’t be in awe of Venom because no shot of him lingers over two seconds, especially when he’s in action. The action sequences are either too damn dark or just fast movements with particle effects. Once it gets to the climax, this becomes one of the most poorly-edited attempts at action that I’ve ever seen in a superhero movie.
Like “Black Panther” and the first “Iron Man” (and most superhero film climaxes), the protagonist has to go against the cooler and better-equipped version of himself. “Venom” is just spliced together in a less admirable way.
Speaking of action scenes, some of them just don’t make much sense at all. The film has this major car chase sequence in the middle of San Francisco and police are not in sight until it is convenient to the scene while Eddie and Carlton’s goons are causing so much property damage. You know... like every DC movie.
THE RENDY
At the end of the day, THIS DOES NOT NEED TO EXIST. You took a page out of Marvel’s book of tricks with the tone and incorporated the dumbest methods possible out of desperation. You were fucking separate to make a Spider-Man universe and hoped to god to see them crossover so you pussied out and made a PG-13 comedy out of it.
I’m going to let my copy editor Myan take it from here because she has great input on the thoughts of the film as well.
THE MYAN
“Venom” is tonally imbalanced, poorly-written, confusing and, as a massive Tom Hardy AND Venom fan, I’m highly upset. “Venom” is written like every other Marvel film where EVERYTHING has to have a punchline or a joke. I didn’t know if I was supposed to laugh or cringe half the time. We’re presented with moments that are meant to be “emotional” or important and I found myself not caring to care.
I’ll stick by my opinion that “Venom” would’ve been a solid, awesome R-Rated anti-hero film had it just been given a useful script (and had they not attempted to make another funny MCU film). If you want a well-crafted, badass action film where an attractive Tom Hardy-like dude becomes a marionette to the entity functioning inside him, watch “Upgrade”. Tom Hardy and Venom, both deserve better.
LAST STATEMENT
I’ll acknowledge everyone’s assumption that “Venom” is an unbalanced, desperate attempt to kick off a universe nobody asked for other than the studio that stupidly screwed up way too many times. While it is not as bad as I expected, it still feels 10 years way too late.
Rating: 2/5| 42%
Super Scene: Tom Hardy’s yell. It’s not a scene, but it’s the best moment in the movie.
Well, at least we still have “Upgrade”.
