The Star Review

PG:  some thematic elements

Columbia Pictures, Sony Pictures Animation, Affirm Films, Walden Media

1 Hr and 26 Minutes

Voice Cast: Steven Yeun, Gina Rodriguez, Zachary Levi, Keegan-Michael Key, Kelly Clarkson, Patricia Heaton, Kristin Chenoweth, Tracy Morgan, Tyler Perry, Oprah Winfrey

INTRO: As some may already know, I have recently found a distaste for films released by Sony Pictures Animation. When you’re that studio, who released an abomination called “The Emoji Movie” just know you’re automatically put on my roast list. I’m utterly both baffled and astounded that SPA has released not two but three animated movies in one year. I mean, Dreamworks did that twice in both 2010 and 2014, but SPA has done something I’m shocked that no animated studio hasn’t done before: release three movies within the same year and have all of them suck. AND THIS IS THEIR THIRD RELEASE! At this point, there is absolutely no road to redemption.

In Sony Pictures Animation's THE STAR, a small but brave donkey named Bo yearns for a life beyond his daily grind at the village mill. One day he finds the courage to break free, and finally goes on the adventure of his dreams. On his journey, he teams up with Ruth, a lovable sheep who has lost her flock and Dave, a dove with lofty aspirations. Along with three wisecracking camels and some eccentric stable animals, Bo and his new friends follow the Star and become accidental heroes in the greatest story ever told - the first Christmas.

THE GOOD

A Yeun Voice

With all the voice actors the movie features, the only person who is voice acting his ass off is Steven Yeun (Glenn of Walking Dead). If you check out his filmography,  you can tell he has a love for voice acting since he’s in this, "Voltron", "Trollhunters", "The Legend of Korra", but bro you need better roles than this. Seriously the only person I feel sorry for is Steven Yeun who plays the lead character, Bo. Granted he is the lead and is giving a solid vocal performance and I’m happy he has a leading role like this, but I just can’t get thought of, “Glenn died in The Walking Dead for this shit?" out of my head. Alongside him is Keegan Michael Key who is a great in voice acting in everything. God bless the man for actually trying, and he has good chemistry with Yeun. 

THE BAD

WHY DID A MAJOR STUDIO DISTRIBUTE THIS?

This isn’t even a real SPA movie because it's animated but another animation studio up in Canada named Cinemite. In other words, THIS IS A COMPLETELY OUTSOURCED MOVIE! What made Sony Pictures Animation's previous film "The Emoji Movie" at least visually watchable (even though it is cinematic cancer) was its dazzling animation. This on the hand is obviously cheap. Friggin Dreamwork's "Captain Underpants" was outsourced, but the animation for that was outstanding.

A lot of the shots don’t even look fully rendered. Where several close-ups you can see a bit of detailing of hair and fur, but with movement, the hair just stays in place as if there is no wind when people run. Even then, several wide shots just look so unfinished where miscellaneous crowd people are walking in the background, but their heads aren't even matched with the lighting of the background. Like the sun can shine on a person's head, but yet there isn't a reflection of light on them. 

For something that was created on the cheap, this poorly executes comedy through visual gags and physical humor. This hand moves so damn slowly. Everything about the animation looks like a PS2 cutscene that has been extended for 86 minutes. Shit,  “Ratchet and Clank” (the movie) costed $3 million more than this, and the animation in that was fluent and beautiful to look at. If this was released in something like 1999 then I would be impressed by the animation, but it is 2017, and the animation looks so bland and generic. I can list a bunch of CG TV shows on Nick has much better animation. Watching this was like watching, “Planet 51” again where something that has a slightly interesting concept is wasted by a terrible script dull pacing and slow animation. Seriously this movie moves so slowly that you really ask yourself, "Why isn’t this on PBS or Why isn’t this down a three dollar bargain bin in Walgreens alongside with every Sony Pictures Animated direct-to-DVD film?”

If you have an animated film that was made on a cheap budget, make sure your movie has a great script if you can't keep the animation afloat. Films such as "Sausage Party", "Hoodwinked", and "Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius" are perfect examples of animated movies that may not be at the top of their game, but their inventive screenplays and excellent storytelling helped those become memorable features. People still watch "Hoodwinked" which was one of the first independent computer-animated films to be produced because it is a hilariously smart movie. The animation is terrible, but the script is fantastic. This has every trapping of a generic animated film that is truthfully ten years too late. Because of the script being so bland and devoid of laughs, this is truly a wasted opportunity. 

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THIS TERRIBLE CHRISTIAN ALBUM

With every scene or two, a song from the movie’s soundtrack plays, and it's incorporating so poorly. It doesn’t only feel out of place, but it's laughably manipulative. It isn’t just Rick Ross playing in “Django Unchained” bad “The Prayer” playing over Kayley’s escape scene in “Quest For Camelot” bad.  When something “sad” happens or when a character feels “lost” a song from the soundtrack plays and the lyrics are literally what is going on with the character onscreen. It is irritating at first but when the movie transitions to its third act, it goes to become annoying as the soundtrack just plays in every consecutive scene for no reason other than “WE NEED TO SELL THIS SOUNDTRACK!” It feels like the editor just inserted the movie’s soundtrack in the third audio chamber when splicing the movie together and didn’t give two shits as he did it. By the way, this soundtrack is not even good. There is a range of country songs to pop songs to gospel songs, and they’re pretty bad. For example, since African Americans actors voice the three camels, their intro song has to be an urban gospel song by Kirk Franklin? For real? Or when Joesph is looking praying, a country guy sings some song?  For something that cost $18 million to make, you can tell that $5 mil went to the voice cast, $8 mil for the soundtrack, and $3 million for the animation. 

WASTEFUL TALENTS

In the Nick Animation Podcast of Jimmy Neutron legendary voice actor Rob Paulson discussed the two films from the animation studio DNA Productions (Jimmy Neutron and The Ant Bully) and how celebrity voice actors don't mean anything to a film. 

I'll insert the video right here because he says it so fluently. (22:05 -23:32)

You hear that? 

"Just because there are movie stars in it, isn't going to put butts into seats. It's about the story; it's about the relationship; the voice acting; and the commodity."

That is the biggest issue with "The Star." The movie relies so much on the voice cast that it ultimately undermines the bland story that is presented right in front of you. Anthony Anderson, Patricia Heaton, and Clarkson doesn't show up until fifteen minutes before the movie's finale, and they're in like one scene. Why is Kelly Clarkson in here? Other so her character can have an excuse to sing? Why is Mariah Carey in here for like two seconds? Oh, she provided a song for the soundtrack!  The comic relief are supposed to be the camels voiced by Oprah, Tyler Perry, and Tracy Morgan and they're more annoying than funny. Morgan is the one who has all the comedic punchlines, but none of them are even remotely funny. The film is bombarded with so many actors that you feel confused onto why they signed on to a project this. 

1) Cheaply made
2) Dull in script
3) As generic as every other animated film featuring talking animals. 

The movie is about the birth of Jesus, but yet there is no biblical moral at all. With something like VeggieTales, you had a show that was smart in the way it depicted biblical messages while creatively putting their spin on a story. This just tells the story of the birth of Jesus from the POV of animals.....that's it. There's no moral other than, "be yourself?" 

YOU HAVE OTHER AVAILABLE OPTIONS

If you want to watch a children’s film based on  a biblical story, I’m sorry to say that was made 20 years go with a movie called “The Prince of Egypt.” Dreamwork's made a damn perfect musical biblical film with powerful animation, amazing songs, and an all-star cast that give great performances. If not that, just watch “Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie.” That is a CG movie from 2002 that had solid animation, an inventive and creatively entertaining spin on a biblical story that barely deviated from the source itself. You have two great examples of faith-based movies that are fair family entertainment instead of wasting money to see this. "Coco" is going to be released five days after this is released. Do yourself and your kids a favor just take them to see that. 

LAST STATEMENT

 If you want to show your kids a great animated movie based stories from the bible, just put on "The Prince of Egypt," because "The Star" is as generically bland as an animated movie about biblical stories can go. Oh Sony Pictures Animation, its time you hang up your coat because your releases are just getting unforgivingly worse You had three strikes this year so YOU'RE OUT!

Rating: 1/5 | 23%

Super Scene: Dave's Interpreted Dance (I have absolutely nothing else really)