The Hitman's Bodyguard Review

R: strong violence and language throughout 

Summit Entertainment, Millennium Films

1 Hr and 49 Minutes

Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Gary Oldman, Salma Hayek, Élodie Yung, Joaquim de Almeida, Kirsty Mitchell, Richard E. Grant

INTRO: We finally got it. We didn’t need it nor did we ask for it but we got it. We finally got the Deadpool/Nick Fury team up movie that we didn’t know that we wanted. Once the teaser trailer & poster came out for "The Hitman’s Bodyguard", I was filled with nothing but excitement. Immediately right after though I got skeptical because of one primary fact; this is the production company that brought you great films such as "Mechanic: Resurrection", "Criminal", "The Legend of Hercules", and "Texas Chainsaw 3D". Millennium Films have been the master of generic action movies and. Unfortunately, my skepticism was correct.

A special protection agent (Ryan Reynolds) is tasked with guarding the life of his mortal enemy, who is one of the world's most notorious hitmen (Samuel L. Jackson), and taking him from the United Kingdom to the International Court of Justice. On their way, they are on high-speed car chases and boat escapes as deadly assassins are pursuing them and they are forced to work together in order to defeat a ruthless, powerful and bloodthirsty Eastern European dictator (Gary Oldman).

THE GOOD: It's strange that this is a film with two genuinely hysterical leads but the funniest cast member who constantly steals the show is Salma Hayek. Granted all she is doing is ad-libbing while dropping an "F" bomb ever so often and in-between every other word in her dialogue but some of the gags with her are worth a couple of chuckles or two. You can tell she had fun filming even though the lack of material given to her was of quality. Thankfully she's charismatic enough to command every scene she's featured in with force.

When the film finally becomes the Ryan Reynolds & Samuel L. Jackson movie after its slow first act, it's pretty entertaining to watch for the most part. Jackson is pretty much playing himself as he’s loud and overuses the word “muthafucka” and Reynolds is himself as he’s the sarcastic, mild tempered straight man. The best thing about them though is how they have a chain of history together based on their occupation which I respect for attempting to flesh out their characters. When they bicker, the film shines the most as it is genuinely laugh-out-loud funny at points.

THE BAD: When the best thing about The Hitman’s Bodyguard is its teaser poster, you know you fucked up big time. If you've seen one film from Millennium, you've seen them all. They have the same looking cheap effects, cheap explosions, and for some reason the same cheap cinematography.

The best way to compare the layout of the story is more equivalent to an extended episode of "Family Guy" by the way it often relies on cutaways as the basis of the drama and the jokes. The humor, on the other hand, is on the level of "American Dad" where it relies on constant bickering between the lead characters that sometimes the punchline don’t hit where it needs to. At first, it incorporates flashbacks to progress the characters of our two leads, but then it does a flashback to joke around. It's inconsistent the many times it does this mainly because it happens way more than it needs to. There is a point when you ask yourself if this is either a movie or a clip show?

When you have a buddy action comedy starring Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson you should at least have the comedic tone be a bit consistent. For this being an action comedy, The Hitman’s Bodyguard focuses more on the drama than either the action or the comedy. Every character takes this procedural way too seriously for it is a narrative we've seen millions of times. The film follows the same formula as any buddy movie where two characters must travel from point A to point B. These are two actors who are known to be funny both in film and person, and this does nothing but wastes their talents.

You have these talents in a project that had so much potential with the amount directions it could've taken in its story, but it's undercut by weak direction from Patrick Hughes whose most notable work is "The Expendables 3".  An annoyingly mediocre screenplay also hampers it for its written by a screenwriter named Tom O' Connor who wrote "Fire With Fire". Why haven't you heard of this movie? Well, it's because "Fire With Fire" was a direct-to-DVD action thriller from 2012 starring Bruce Willis. Shit, the action sequences featured in the film are also generic in both its choreography and execution. Yes, it's rated R, so you see blood spurts when people get shot, but all you see is people getting shot opposed to seeing any creative deaths of the abundant amount of henchmen around. There aren't anything cool with the action sequences that are creative or cool to watch besides one with Reynolds and one with Jackson. 

The editing isn’t that bad but its just so damn lazy as the film itself. Every time each character has a phone conversation, it never feels authentic. You know it's just the actors during reshoots talking on the phone based on the shooting days they're available to film. Barely any of the conversations connect to the topic the characters on the phone are talking about. 

Reynolds and Jackson share a fine on screen chemistry especially when they argue, but the humor of the script is so lazy that it just results in the leads dropping "f" bombs.  If I wanted to a watch an action comedy with a weird team up that's at least thoroughly entertaining; I might as well watch "Rush Hour" or "Lethal Weapon".  As you look at the mediocrity rub off onscreen, you just sit in the audience and think “Boy, I wish I was watching Rush Hour right now.” Other talents who are in here are wasted as well such as Gary Oldman who spends the most of the movie sitting in a courtroom. Honestly, this role has to be literally the easiest paycheck he’s ever received.  

It is a giant shame because this could've been a fun little satire of action films of this type more especially "Lethal Weapon", but instead, it just becomes the lesser version of "Lethal Weapon". It's just another action film with an enormous amount of potential and wasted opportunity. This might as well be a filler film for Reynolds before "Deadpool 2" and a filler film for Jackson before "The Incredibles 2." It just goes to show  how much I should never have faith from a movie produced by Millennium Films for they provide the most generic of generic movies.

LAST STATEMENT: Though Jackson & Reynolds leads try their best to elevate the bland script they were given, The Hitman's Bodyguard is a missed opportunity for its an overly familiar and cliched action flick that adds nothing new to the genre except another mediocre entry.

Rating: 1.5/5 | 39%

Super Scene: Reynolds vs. one guy who can't seem to die even if he's choked out.