Song to Song Review

R: Some Sexuality, Nudity, Drug Use, and Language 

2 Hrs and 9 Minutes

Broadgreen Pictures, Waypoint Entertainment, FilmNation Entertainment

Cast:  Michael Fassbender, Ryan Gosling, Rooney Mara, Natalie Portman, Cate Blanchett, Val Kilmer, Bérénice Marlohe 

REVIEW: I believe in order to be a visionary, you have to have a vision. In 2011, Terrence Malick returned from his film retirement with a beautiful vision and formed it into a film called The Tree if Life. It was a critically acclaimed film that went on to be nominated for Best Picture with many films in the future taking its narrative structure such as Man of Steel, Finding Dory, and The Legend of Tarzan. After his stellar return, everyone was eager to see the next masterpiece he creates. It's 2017 and I’m still waiting. 

In a modern love story set against the Austin, Texas music scene, two entangled couples — struggling songwriters Faye (Mara) and BV (Gosling), and music mogul Cook (Fassbender) and the waitress whom he ensnares (Portman) — chase success through a rock ‘n’ roll landscape of seduction and betrayal.

THE GOOD: I got nothing good to say really.

THE BAD: Apparently, this film was shot 5 years ago with an original running time of eight hours which had a much bigger cast featuring Christian Bale, Haley Bennett, and even more cameos featuring Arcade Fire.  As much as I would love that, it would be nice to have an edit of the film that has I don’t know a fucking structure.

Did Terrence Malick pull an Adam Sandler on me? I’m pretty sure Terrence Malick pulled an Adam Sandler on me because this is nothing but Terrence Malick, Michael Fassbender, Rooney Mara, and Ryan Gosling going on a fucking vacation to South America and Austin, Texas. I bet after returning back to the editing room, Malick went, “oh shit there’s supposed to be a story in here. WELL…..screw it.” As much as I hate saying this now, but at least with Adam Sandler has a story it's mostly the same story with the same tropes but there is a story. Here you get a 129-minute vacation video. He even brings in unnecessary cameos such as Iggy Pop, Black Lips, and Flea. For a film named Song to Song, it’ll be nice to hear some songs to tune out the nonexistent story.

A lot of scenes just happen. There’s conversation but you don’t know what they’re about I like how they continue their conversation in a difficult shot at a completely distant setting, but at the same time the conversations are meaningless and you have no idea what they’re talking about. The dialogue is so cheesy that ya can predict what they’re going to say. Try to make the cheesiest dialogue in your head the characters will most likely say it. It's all philosophies, metaphors, and many ways of saying “I love you.” It's like reading an E.L James novel including the odd eroticism.

The only person who gives a performance is Michael Fassbender. He is charismatic and is adorable to see when he’s clowning around and that's it really. He clowns around for the most part, but that's the only thing that keeps you a bit interested. To see Michael Fassbender impersonate a monkey, that alone is worth the price of admission. At least Fassbender puts a little bit of acting into his performance due to him doing his deep intimidating voice (which is starting to losing its own flair now). 

There are no characters. Ryan Gosling is Ryan Gosling doing Ryan Gosling things. Michael Fassbender is Shame Michael Fassbender and Rooney Mara is Rooney Mara. It's nothing but sexy actors looking sexy doing sexy things in sexy locations and every sexy thing that happens is nothing but a cocktease. When two people are about to have intercourse you just see them kiss each other’s bodies then an after cut of them putting back on their clothes. These people don’t interact like normal people. Is this a movie, because it is filmed and scripted like a reality TV show. With too many wide-angle shot. You see so much of these actor’s forehead when their foreheads are already friggin huge. The film shoehorns Natalie Portman 30 minutes in and Cate Blanchett an hour in and you’re just asking the five W’s for everything.

WHAT IS THIS MOVIE?

WHO ARE THESE CHARACTERS?

WHERE IS THE GODDAMN STORY?

WHY AM I ATTRACTED TO THE EXIT DOOR?

HOW DID HE GET ALL THESE ACTORS TO STAR IN THIS?

Some critics are giving it a pass because the film has an A-list cast and has the name Terrence Malick behind it. I’m sorry I have a musical drama movie starring Fassbender it’s called Frank. I already have a musical drama with Gosling its called La La Land.  For God’s sake, you can hear a lot of the ADR room’s echo with the majority of the voiceovers in the film. If you have no story, at least give me some artsy fartsy visuals. Oh, you can’t give me that? Okay, FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU for wasting the talents of these talented academy award nominated actors and give them nothing than emotionless roles. FUCK YOU for showing these actors explore exotic places and not giving a real story and most of all FUCK YOU for giving me 129 minutes of saying absolutely nothing.

LAST STATEMENT: Dear Terrence Malick, when you make an actual movie with style, structure and character come and call me, but until then, your little Song to Song can go screw yourself.

Rating: 1/5 | 21%

Super Scene: Michael Fassbender impersonates a monkey.