Pitch Perfect 3 Review
PG13: crude and sexual content, language and some action
Universal Pictures, Gold Circle Films
1 Hr and 34 Minutes
Dir: Trish Sie | Writers: Kay Cameron & Mike White
Cast: Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, Hailee Steinfeld, Brittany Snow, Anna Camp, Hana Mae Lee, Ester Dean, Chrissie Fit, Alexis Knapp, John Michael Higgins, Elizabeth Banks, Ruby Rose, DJ Khalid, John Lithgow
INTRO: Back in 2012, my dad and I had a memorable movie day. We went to see several movies at the Times Square AMC theater. We started with Hotel Transylvania then we split up to see separate films (I saw “Frankenweenie” and he saw “Taken 2”), but when we met up, we turned around and saw an auditorium about to start this little movie called “Pitch Perfect.” We just shrugged and walked right in (mainly cause my dad needed to get the bad taste of “Taken 2” out of his mouth). To our surprise it was a good movie. We laughed, bopped our heads, and had a great time. Why did I tell this story as my intro? Because after two entries, “Pitch Perfect 3” peaked my nerve to an extent where it makes me want to go back in time to tell my younger self to not get attached to this movie because Universal Pictures was going to franchise that shit milk that cow to its grave.
Following their win at the world championship, the now separated Bellas reunite for one last singing competition at an overseas USO tour, but face a group who uses both instruments and voices.
THE GOOD
WELL IT STILL MAKES YOU CHUCKLE
If you’ve been following this franchise since the beginning, you know that a lot of the running gags return and some of them still hit hard. The gag of Lilly and her soft spoken voice is still funny for a while. The Ashley & Jessica joke is still funny as hell. It just seems like every time I chuckled, its primarily from a joke from somebody else opposed to our primary leads.
GIVE ANNA AN ALBUM
If there is anything this trilogy has taught me, its that I desperately want an Anna Kendrick album. I’m here for an Anna Kendrick album. In her career, Kendrick has proven to have a phenomenal voice for she took the world (and Billboard charts) by storm with “Cups” when the first “Pitch Perfect” came out. Then she was the lead voice in “Trolls” where she proved again that her voice is amazing. So why can’t Anna Kendrick release a solo album? I don’t know. I’m still in the process of reading her book “Scrappy Little Nobody,” so maybe the answers lie there.
THE BAD
SONG WITHOUT A SOUL
Remember the comedy that and electrifying energy that made the first film so fun? Well that is absent here. Its been absent since the previous film but “Pitch Perfect 2” had enough music and story to keep your interest. This goes the Universal Pictures franchise route by abandoning whatever charm and fire the first film had by resulting its sequel to become a spy caper action movie. “Fast & Furious” did it and it worked. “Despicable Me” did it and it sorta worked. But “Pitch Perfect” is a goddamn musical there is no fucking reason why they have to have a central subplot centered on Fat Amy’s dad wanting to steal her inheritance from her. There are three subplots going on in this.
- Bellas performing for the USO and having to compete against other bands so they can get a deal with DJ Kahlid
- Fat Amy’s dad coming back into her life but is there only to steal her inheritance from her late rich mom.
Take a nice guess which storyline the film centers on? Yup. Fat Amy and her dad. And who plays her dad? John Lithgow who is doing an Australian accent. Why is there explosions in a Pitch Perfect movie? BECAUSE OF THIS SUBPLOT THAT DOES NOT BELONG IN A MOVIE ABOUT ACAPELLA!
This is some “Cars 2” shit where the primary focus should be on this competition but no we focus on the most annoying character and their journey. With Mater he had charm though too much of him is grating to watch, but Fat Amy is just a mean and shallow character. Rebel Wilson’s Fat Amy is to this franchise as what Zach Galifianakis’ Alan was to “The Hangover” trilogy. The first movie they worked by being the wild card with some of the best lines but as more movies were released, their characters became more obnoxious and grating.
Whatever screenwriter Kay Cameron did with her characters and develop them to be likable people in the original has now been degraded to both running gags and plot devices. There is no such thing as characters in this, only caricatures. The humor now is just lazy where its just nothing but one liners and references to poop, boobs, and vaginas. And yet this franchise is supposed to be about female empowerment. It really makes you wonder how in the fuck is this empowering to women.
Whereas the first film felt authentic with these women coming together to sing music, this just feels like they’re all going through the motions so they can hang out in exotic locations. I’m glad these girls are friends but I don’t want to pay on my expense for their vacation that they “happened” to film a movie on. It barely even have theatrical value for its filmed like a Dan Schneider sitcom where the transitions are similar to the ones you see in Victorious. Every transition is a quick cut to a new setting where it tilts down so fast that sometimes you forget they occur after jump cutting from an unresolved scene prior to it.
What really proves that this movie has nothing going for it is its run time which is an hour and 34 minutes. Where the predecessors were nearly two hours, they had enough substance to keep the pace moving. Here you get nothing but scenes of ad-libbing that either hits or miss (news flash they miss a lot). I may dislike “Pitch Perfect 2” but this just fumed nothing but anger through my soul. This has to be the most soul crushing films I’ve seen in years because it truly goes against every goodwill the predecessors had. You don’t have Skylar Astin or Adam DeVine or Ben Platt but you wish they here so they can add some levity to this.
RIFF OFF KEY
If this movie had a theme song it would be, “The Lazy Song” by Bruno Mars because its doing nothing at all. If the story wasn’t lazy enough, the musical numbers aren't even impressive anymore. This came out the same weekend as “The Greatest Showman” which is a movie that positively prospers from innovative musical numbers. All you have here is just Acapella cover songs.
Theres barely any mashups aside from the riff-off scene and even then the riff off sequence doesn’t even seem inspired this time around. In the scene, the Bellas explain to their competitors the rules to a riff-off then proceed by singing party songs as their theme. But then they start singing Ignition by R. Kelly and a then a Dr. Dre song and neither songs are party songs. It breaks their own rule they set up just to have an excuse for a mashup.
If you are not going to abide by your rules at least distract me with some comedy. Unfortunately it fails to do that. The first film succeeded by delivering the music with that sequence, the second succeeded by the music and the comedy, and here it just does nothing. I couldn’t even crack a smile during the riff-off scene because it just doesn’t feel earned or inspired. You can’t recapture the magic of the Bellas singing Blackstreet or the randomness of The Green Bay Packers showing up and singing acapella.
WHY ARE YOU HERE?!
For fuck sake, John Michael Higgins and Elizabeth Banks reprise their roles as the commentators who practically stalk the Bellas. We get they’re the Statler and Waldorf to them but nobody asked for them. We get theres a reason for Banks to be on set considering she's the producer on this, but that doesn’t mean we need to see her and Higgins making sex and mysognistic jokes about the Bellas. It was funny in the first, slightly annoying in the second, and now they’re just beating a dead joke. You see them everywhere the Bellas go that at this point you question "Why are they here? Why don't they get a restraining order on them?"
LAST STATEMENT
Oh “Pitch Perfect 3.” Like many unnecessary trilogies before you, you follow the fun trend of ruining everything I loved about the original and taking a massive dump on it so you can sell out and be a cash grab.
Great job Universal you did it again.
Rating: 1.5/5 | 33%
Well at least I have “Lady Bird”, “Wonder Woman” snd “Girls Trip” as nay female empowerment films of tis year. This movie can go fuck itself.
Super scene: “Who is Jessica and Ashley?”
