Den of Thieves Review
R: violence, language and some sexuality/nudity
Stxfilms
2 Hrs and 20 Minutes
Dir: Christian Gudegast | Writers: Christian Gudegast, Paul Scheuring
Cast: Gerard Butler, Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson, Pablo Schreiber, O’Shea Jackson Jr., Evan Jones, Dawn Olivieri, Mo McRae, Max Holloway
INTRO: Gerard Butler in a movie in January? This month keeps getting better and better with these cinematic recipes for disasters. Why am I wasting brain cells on a generically dumb January movie?
A gritty crime saga which follows the lives of an elite unit of the LA County Sheriff's Dept. and the state's most successful bank robbery crew as the outlaws plan a seemingly impossible heist on the Federal Reserve Bank.
THE GOOD
OH SHIT O’ SHEA
If there is one major positive thing that “Den of Thieves” solidifies, its that O’ Shea Jackson Jr. is a really good actor. With this being the third film he stars in, Jackson expresses a side of acting where we haven't seen yet: vulnerability. Within the first act of the film, his character Donnie gets kidnapped by cop Big Nick played by Gerard Butler, and he starts breaking down hard. The only one character you can latch yourself onto is Donnie because he has a certain level of innocence. Out of all the criminals in the gang, he is the Ansel Elgort of the group because he’s the Baby Driver. All he does is drive and nothing else. So when he gets interrogated by Big Nick, he breaks down in a way where you sympathize with his character. He may be the son of Ice Cube, but he keeps proving that he has much more range than his father with each role.
A PENNY FOR YOUR 50 CENT REACTION SHOTS
If the movie was thankfully smart about one thing its that it knows how much 50 Cent cannot act so, they barely give him any lines of dialogue. Luckily the only thing 50 Cent’s character is around to do is primarily provide reaction shots of him looking intense and menacing. He’s quiet as hell for it’s Pablo Schreiber who is the brains of the operation while 50 is the muscle. Schreiber might as well be the Phineas, and 50 Cent is the Ferb. It's strange because 50 Cent is headlining that damn poster, but yet he barely has any lines in this two-hour flick. That being said, I commend director Christian Gudegast for giving Curtis Jackson undoubtedly the best scene in the entire film. Somehow he has the best scene in the movie that is the way to cleverly funny that it doesn’t belong in this type of movie. I’m not going to give anything away other than the scene featuring a humorous spin on the “meeting your daughter’s prom date” trope. With the series tone, it tries to maintain. This scene is way too comedically absurd that it contextually doesn't fit especially since it provides nothing to the story. It is the best out of throwaway scene the film has to offer, and I’m astounded that they gave it to 50 Cent. It might as well been a “Family Guy” cutaway.
THE BAD
HEY BUTLER I HATE YOUR CHARACTER
For the first seven minutes, the film wraps you in quickly with a shootout. But when Gerard Butler’s Big Nick rolls into the scene in the aftermath, your level of interest just depletes for it teases what to expect for the remaining two hours left in the film: a terrible script hampered with an unlikable lead. It feels as if this screenplay was written by a college student who just got out of underground school and a minor in law so he can utilize police procedural terms onto the page. When Nick is introduced, we get a sense of his character, and you immediately hate this dude. Unfortunately, we follow him through the rest of the movie.
What is bad about his character is how he’s written. Nick is supposed to be this sort of smart-ass hotheaded officer who doesn't play by the rules, but he’s not likable one bit. He’s just weird and says nothing but awkward shit. His socialization skills are so bad which you can tell is the result of the screenplay being bad. Theres actors that can pull that character off but Butler is not that guy. For the most part, it's his dialogue and sometimes the delivery that makes you feel embarrassed for this gang having to go up against him.
When he's interrogating people, he can strike fear into your heart, but then when he has a standard conversation, Nick just makes you cringe because all he says are odd things. He says some absurd shit such as, he’s here to “fuck bitches” or “suck a guy’s dick.”
What makes it worse is that he’s so proud of himself afterwards and then goes to think that he’s the coolest guy in the room. He is the equivalent to a parent trying to be hip to his kids.
Nick is that hard ass corrupt cop, but yet the film says for us to root for & sympathize with him because he is one of the film’s leads. Once he gets caught cheating on his wife whom he has two daughters with, all of that likability he has is completely thrown out of the window. If there is a fire, the man wouldn’t put it out but add fuel to it, and that's all he does for the entire movie. Big Nick has to be one of the dumbest officers I’ve never seen in a feature because he just goes looking for trouble opposed to putting an end to it.
At first, he comes off as an asshole, but as the film progresses, he just becomes more and more of a dick. The movie says we’re supposed to root for the guy but he has no idea how handle specific situations. Because of his life falling apart he starts stalking his wife and harasses her in her sister’s home, he nearly gets Donnie killed by following wherever his crew goes and initiating terrible conversations, and then starts messing with their girlfriends.
Nick spends the movie trying to catch these bank robbers, but for some reason when he has them right where he wants them, he just begins to fuck with them by stalking them. This goes on to the point that he eventually allows them to rob a local bank opposed to the biggest one in LA and what is he doing? Just looking right in the parking lot while a hostage situation is in progress.
At a certain point you consciously think, “If he dies right now, I won’t feel a damn thing.”
If someone argues with me over Butler’s character by saying, “Oh we’re not supposed to like Nick,” I would highly disagree with you due to the fact that we follow him through the majority of the movie. This movie is 68% Gerald Butler, and the rest is centered on the gang. He’s a shitty person, but the movie tries to manipulate you to like him because *sarcastic voice* he loves his kids.
Before the climax initiates where the gang pulls off this heist, Nick goes to one of his daughter’s school to say goodbye for he doesn’t know what the future holds for him. It is an incredibly manipulative scene that doesn’t work because in a scene prior to that, we see him leaving the crime boss’s house after screwing his stripper girlfriend.
The film begs for you to invest in these characters and this generic heist story. One of the biggest things we’re supposed to believe is that four guys can rob the biggest bank in LA, but after a while, you can buy that opposed to buying Nick as an interesting character. He’s just a dumbass who is terrible at his job, and the film suffers massively for focusing so much on him. Gudegast asks so much for his audience but doesn’t give anything back except mediocrity.
A LOT OF STARZ IN HERE
My biggest gripe about “Den of Thieves” is just thinking how beneficial it would've been to release it as a limited TV series than a two-hour movie. The way how this was shot, written, and structured, feels more like a series that could’ve been on Starz other than releasing it as a theatrical feature film. Since we have this large cast, we could've had each episode focusing on these criminals and officers who just want to take each opposing side down before the climactic season finale where its centered on the heist. It works better as a multiple POV series instead of having the audience follow one dude only to pull off a dumb “Now You See Me” type twist by the end.
I love how this thing movie thinks this audience is stupid with every scene for every introductory scene, the character’s names would appear as if we’re going to remember the names. Some of these guys don’t get their own introduction scene until halfway through the movie. We don’t meet 50 cent’s character (well sort of) until somewhere into the second act. He surprisingly happens to have the best scene in the movie that is cleverly funny but that's the only time he is in the limelight.
This entire film builds up to a bank heist, and yet it manages to make that so dull and stupid that you kind of wish the movie was over at that point. You can make a drinking game out of the third act for how many times it makes you ask, “How did they do that? What is going on now?” The momentum it builds up to the climax is so high that the execution goes out on a whimper. It just prolongs the running time and mostly proves my case that this would’ve worked more like a limited series. It wouldn’t have been well received but would’ve had a decent amount of viewers.
LAST STATEMENT
The sheer dullness and hamper of way too many unlikable characters especially with Gerard Butler’s Big Nick, makes Christian Gudegast’s “Den of Thieves” another broad entry into the crime drama genre.
Rating: 2/5 | 43%
Super Scene: Enson has a heart to heart with his daughter’s prom date.
