'Vampires vs. the Bronx' Review
PG-13: Violence, language, and some suggestive references
Runtime: 1 Hr and 26 Minutes
Production Companies: Universal Pictures, Broadway Studios, Caviar
Distributor: Netflix
Director: Osmany Rodriguez
Writer: Osmany Rodriguez
Cast: Jaden Michael, Gregory Diaz IV, Gerald W. Jones III, Coco Jones, Sarah Gadon, Chris Redd, The Kid Mero, Method Man, Shea Whigham, Vladimir Caamaño
Release Date: October 2, 2020
A group of young friends from the Bronx fight to save their neighborhood from gentrification… and vampires.
Gentrification takes many shapes and forms and affects a lot of populated urban areas, especially in New York City. As a Brooklyn native, I can tell you from firsthand experience that the gentrification here is the worst, but at least we don’t have blood-sucking vampires like they do in the Osmany Rodriguez’s debut feature film Vampires vs. the Bronx. A trio of Bronx-native teenage boys — Miguel (Jaden Michael), Luis (Gregory Diaz IV), and Bobby (Gerald W. Jones III) — are trying to throw a neighborhood block party to save their favorite bodega from being closed due to rising rent prices. It doesn’t help that a new suspicious business pops up and buys out all the independent businesses in the neighborhood, which brings a shit ton of White people into the area. The three boys then discover that the business is owned by deadly vampires set on colonizing the area. Now, it’s up to the trio to defend the Bronx from blood-sucking gentrifiers.
Osmany Rodriguez’s authentic depiction of the borough is one of the most enjoyable aspects of Vampires vs. the Bronx. The ensemble is completely composed of Latinos, African-Americans, and Afro-Latinos to represent the variety of cultures that reside there. Rodriguez does a great job establishing a sense of community. I love the scenes where the trio hangs out with their friend Tony (The Kid Mero) in his bodega, which we all know to be an aspect of the New York experience. In terms of humor, the best jokes are geared toward native New Yorkers and the upbeat culture that only we can fully appreciate.
The leads — Jaden Michael, Gregory Diaz IV, and Gerald W. Jones III — deliver charming performances. They share a strong chemistry that you’d see in any other comedy about misfit kids having to save the day. The Kid Mero is lovable as Tony, the bodega owner who’s like a big brother to the three lead boys. Coco Jones is really good as Rita, the only person who believes the boys and joins them in the battle to save the neighborhood.
At first glance, you might think that Vampires vs. the Bronx borrows heavily from Joe Wright’s Attack the Block. Conceptually, it does (for the most part), but in terms of plotting, it borrows from so many other movies that focus on rag-tag groups of misfits uniting against spooky, deadly creatures. Much of the movie’s plotting bears resemblance to Monster House, Paranorman, The Goonies, etc. It’s so heavily influenced by those titles that it barely develops an identity of its own. What made those movies great was that they were able to tell strong stories with memorable characters, which Vampires vs. the Bronx fails to do. For a horror-comedy that features violent content, it retains a safe, light tone. From a comedic standpoint, it’s undeniably funny but all the humor is surface-level and broad more so than clever.
While the narrative is very straightforward, there’s one subplot that I wasn’t too thrilled by. Because it’s the Bronx and there are gangs and thugs, it feels a bit disingenuous to have Bobby, the only dark-skinned Black character in the film, having to be a crossroads for stepping in his deceased father's footsteps and joining a gang and being true to himself. It does serve a purpose that adds comparison to an antagonistic character later in the film, but it’s such an exhausting subplot that has been done to death many times before. For a movie that was doing a great job at celebrating representation in a diverse community, Bobby’s subplot just feels so banal.
Vampires vs. the Bronx is a decent, entertaining effort that works as a diversion for the start of October. Its plotting may be way too familiar, which prevents it from bearing an identity of its own, but it isn't devoid of wit and charm. It’s funny, short, and has a wide enough appeal for New Yorkers and teenagers looking for a new horror-comedy. Granted, you’d find more enjoyment in the titles that heavily influenced it, but it’s entertaining enough to be interesting, at the very least.
