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Rendy REvisits: The Alien Franchise

Rendy REvisits: The Alien Franchise

In the celebration of the highly anticipated upcoming summer blockbuster Alien Covenant, I’ve decided to have my second set in the Rendy Revisit series to not be just the first Alien movie, but EVERY ALIEN MOVIE! Yep, I’m going through each and single Alien movie. Since I’ve never seen an Alien movie in my life, I have until Wednesday to watch em all before I get the chance to see the sequel to 2012's Prometheus. I might as well take notes of each film I’m watching if I’m going to watch all of them. I didn’t go to Rotten tomatoes or read any reviews to see which film is good or bad, so here we go! LET’S REVISIT THE ALIEN FRANCHISE

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ALIEN (1979)

For a 1979 film, the production design is spot on.

Sigourney Weaver is so young! Recently seeing her in the Defenders trailer had me to believe that she’s still in her 50s but after looking up, I see she's only 60 something and you know what? This woman does not age. 

You can probably tell this was filmed on a set, but it's beautiful. I love the blue cinematography which I have a feeling will be the color scheme throughout this franchise.

Ripley is a woman who knows her shit. I love it when her crewmates try to get back on board after contamination she goes, “uh No you’re going to have to wait after 24 hours because ITS THE FUCKING LAW!” She goes on about this throughout the entire film and you know what? This easily makes her the best character in the movie. Just one person’s incompetence can jeopardize the lives of many and she knows the right thing to do. Though she does what she's ordered to do, deep down she knows she's right.

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To be honest, I think Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley may be the first female in film to kick ass. In the time like today, it’ll be awesome to have Ripley be the cinematic poster child for women’s rights. Somebody, please tell me women in film before Ripley that kicked more ass than she did because I don't feel like there is. 

How’s the iconic Chestburster scene though? FUCKING GLORIOUS! The way the scene is setup is so unexpected that by then you just go to think, “Shit, that escalated quickly.” That scene is bloody, graphic, and violent. Mind you this is all practical effects and it's amazing!

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Who the fuck will bring they cat on a space trip? We all know that's how someone will die. But honestly, I love how Brent’s death plays out. You see him chasing a cat until he reaches into a corridor to where he meets his untimely demise. The parts that get me is that when he’s getting killed we see it through closeups of the cat and that cat looks so evil as he’s watching it too. The cat is just looking like this was his plan all along.

With a sci-fi film about Aliens, I didn’t think the antagonist all along would be a human I mean robot. When it's revealed Ash is a robot, I think I almost lost my shit. I wasn’t really expecting it at all. 

This movie is a genuine surprise to me due to the story and the visual effects. I don’t give a shit this is a movie from 1979, these effects are far much better than the effects you see in a DC movie. Some of the effects are practical with people in suits and people moving puppets but, this is an astounding technological achievement in film. I had to look up if this received an Oscar for its visual effects and to my surprise it did.

When there is literally 12  minutes left in the movie and Ripley blows up the ship, THE ALIEN MANAGES TO FOLLOW HER! At that point, I’m laughing contagiously because this film does not know when to quit. But the way she uses that harpoon is fucking awesome! She lets that Alien knows who is the shit. Now I can see why this is a cult classic that started a franchise and made everyone love both Ridley Scott and Sigourney Weaver.

RATING: 4/5 | 87% 

 

ALIENS (1986)

Directed by James Cameron huh? How long is this?

2 HOURS AND 32 MINUTES

FUUUUUUUUUUCK

Wow though this is released seven years later, I’m happy to see that this takes place 57 YEARS AFTER THE FIRST MOVIE! Shit, Sigourney Weaver still looks young as hell. One of the best things a sequel can do after having the lead go through post-traumatic stress disorder. That's pretty much the main reason she gets back into space.  Seek and destroy so she can sleep safe and sound.

I love how the black guy is overacting. Throughout the entire thing, he has just big bug eyes.

So these things are called Xenomorphs. Well, thank God they’re not just some weird names like….Aliens.

It's so cute when Ripley meets Newt. She’s just so damn sweet.


Fuck everyone who talks shit towards Ripley. Screw the people for not making her the general of the mission because she’s the only person who got out of the first film alive. Just like in its predecessor, Ripley knows what the hell she’s doing and know how to do it. 

I'm sad Bill Paxton is gone, because his performance as Hudson is awesome. He's kind of my favorite soldier that was on the ship. He din;t only have a one dimensional personality for he was a dude that freaked out at the right moments."Game over man. Game over" That's what the reference came from? THIS? I actually thought that was an original joke from Robots, but…..it's not. Kind of makes me cringe when I think about that movie now.

For someone of a very small age, Newt is a very perceptive a smart little girl.

If I would make a Top 10 females in film, Ripley will be in the bottom 5 because she is a BOSS! I love Ripley I really do. Though these Xenomorphs are hard to kill, she makes the job look easy as hell.

The visual effects are far better than before. It's for much more advanced for its time and it doesn't look dated and not even one bit. When the last act kicks in where you get the plural term to the word alien it gets really intense. All this leading up to Ripley busting out in a big ass battling gun/flamethrower to kill a Xenomorph hive is nothing but fucking awesomeness. I think I might be in love with Ripley. Not Sigourney Weaver but Ripley. She’s that badass chick that nobody is good enough for.  

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Ripley in a Walker Mech Suit Vs. the Huge Ass Xenomorph is fucking awesome. I thought Avatar was the first time you Weaver in a Mech Suit. I guess not. It was this movie: Aliens directed by James Cameron who also directed Avatar. The way this film ends is so strong and poignant that I can see why people claim this to be one of the best Sci-Fi sequels of all time.

RATING: 4.5/5 | 92%

 

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Alien 3 (THE ASSEMBLY CUT) - (1992)

 

I couldn’t find the theatrical so whatever. Well, this film is now directed by David Fincher, and that's pretty surprising. For the many works I’ve seen him do from Fight Club, Social Network, Gone Girl, I didn't think his filmography would include Alien 3.

So they all crash landed in a facility AND THE ONLY SURVIVOR IS RIPLEY?! Well, fuck that. Already I’m pissed. It is like saying, “Oh, we could only afford Weaver again since she’s also executive producing it.” What makes me mad about this is that we spent the entire last movie getting to know Newt, Hicks, and Bishop and for you to tell me that they’re all dead in the first act, is a huge WTF moment. When they show Newt’s body in the morgue all you see is her eyes. Yeah, I know Carrie Henn got older since this movie was released 6 years later, but GODDAMN!

So the effects are more CG now as we see a little Alien come out of an Ox/ Apparently it was a face hugger on a dog, but hey I prefer that a bit more.

I like that the place Ripley is at a dangerous prison that has men who’ve never seen a woman in ages. AAAAAAND Ripley has sex with a guy. You don’t see her actually have sex, but it's heavily implied. 

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I mean hey, let the woman get some action cause she’s been kicking ass for two movies straight, but the way it's implied in this is so forced. And we’re only 42 minutes into the movie SOMEHOW 42 MINUTES IN THIS MOVIE MANAGES TO MAKE ME FROM ANGRY TO DISAPPOINTED. I’m just waiting to smile here man.

I have a feeling the only redeeming thing about this may be the violence. If you can't give me the characters at least give me the action. 

OH, NOW I GET THAT DEADPOOL JOKE!

You can kill everyone, but not Bishop? Yeah, he’s an Android but….come on. An alien can just follow anywhere and do anything it can to fuck up Ripley’s life, but at this point, I’m getting retreaded plot fatigue. At this point, it's just predictable and tiring. Sigourney Wever is great nd the gore is fine, but I don’t wanna see an Alien movie in a prison. Conceptually that sounds dumb but seeing this put into film is just dull. When the Xenomorph just kills Clemens it goes to Ripley and just let her live?

I’m not going to lie, the kills in this are glorious. this Alien just knows kill and that's it. I like how this is more direct into the horror genre than the Sci-Fi genre. I’m  not going to lie, I jumped a few times as I was watching this. It's not until the last 40 minutes we get the kickass Ripley we know and love. It is not until that sequence I learn that Ripley is now LT. Ripley. It would be nice if someone established that to me you know?

But the real problem with this movie that the franchise boldly went from having us face off one Xenomorph to many to go back to one. That's like take 20 steps back and that’s really lame.

I like that while everyone gets a crazy kill and don’t get to say a line, but this black guy gets to talk shit to it while getting brutally killed, He’s not even fat or anything, he just gets to talk shit to it. That sequence right there is one of the biggest unintentional laughs this movie has and believe me there’s plenty. 

Having this lead up to Ripley killing herself is strong as a character-driven ending, but contextually to the plot points in this movie is just…..dumb and forced. This really sucks. This movie sucks. 

Wait I got 2 more Alien movies to go? AAAAAAAGHHH

RATING: 1.5/5 | 32%


ALIEN RESURRECTION (1997)


I can tell this is going to be a film of shitty effects from the opening shot of the mosquito being misinterpreted for a Xenomorph. This is a 1997 movie AND THAT OPENING SHOT IS FUCKING TERRIBLE.

They..cloned Ripley? Are you guys making excuses for Sigourney Weaver to show up in these movies? If so you’re really pissing me off here. If anything, Ripley looks for more beautiful than ever before. 

I like Winona Ryder is stealing Weavers look from Alien 3.


HEY, IT MAKES SENSE!

Oh my God is that Ron Perlman? In this movie, the dude plays Johner. I can’t figure out his character more than him wanting to bang Alien Ripley. SO SHE KICKS EVERYBODY’S ASS WITH A BASKETBALL! I think that’s pretty cool. It’s stupid as hell, but its cool.

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Was this released at a time Winona Ryder was big? Because somehow she has top billing in this movie. LOOK AT THE THEATRICAL POSTER! You don’t see Sigourney Weaver on her own or Sigourney Weaver and Ron Perlman. You see Sigourney Weaver and Winona Ryder. Apparently, from research, Ryder was nominated for two Academy Awards for two years in a row for Little Women (1995), and The Age of Innocence (1993)

Unlike the other movies that had stylistic and thrilling direction, this movie has way too many comic book styled pans. The shots are too cartoonish that it lacks any sense of thrills. Sometimes I can’t tell what's going on because there are so many quick cuts and angle spins. It’s like this movie is just so schizophrenic. It’s one of those examples of a film trying so hard to look cool that it ends up looking stupid as hell.

As the movies progress, the kills of the people get far much more frighteningly effective. I don’t know if its the effects or the 

I just love while everyone is freaking out, that the only person who kills the Xenomorph is Ripley. Opposed to Alien 3 at least this movie 

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Besides the camera overreacting, the entire cast is overacting. I know Winona Ryder has big eyes, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the cast has to have big eyes. Everyone’s eyes just bulge whenever the wide angle lens closeup on them.

Kind of sucks she found out there’s more than one of her. Also pretty disturbing to see a nude Ripley with 

Yeah, nothing's more effective than punching the camera in the face.

The only creative credit I can give the film is the different types of Xenomorphs there are. IN this you see that the Aliens can, in fact, swim which I found to be a rather nice set piece.

I think by the time Annalee reveals that she’s a Droid, I realize that's the reason why she got top billing on the poster. By that point, Ripley and Annalee form a mother-daughter bond. 

Speaking of mother, the hybrid Alien is born by the third act and recognizes Ripley as its mom. Honestly, I LIKE THAT! It makes sense and it's actually not stupid how its played out. It is rather enticing and smart. I like that dynamic honestly. THE ALIEN IS RIPLEY’S BABY! How can something that sound so dumb be so right? When it's put together contextually it really works. It’s sad when she has to kill her baby too. The way it's designed makes it unique for it has expressional eyes and because of it having expressional eyes, makes it a rather sympathetic creature. 

I think the writing is the main reason the majority of this thing worked. And then by forgetting, I remembered that Joss Whedon singlehandedly wrote this movie. Give it up to the dude that made Firefly to fix this franchise.

Apparently, the effects team that did this was, in fact, BLUE SKY STUDIOS! Yeah, the animation team that brought us Ice Age and all of its shitty sequels! This thing was made way long before Ice Age was conceived. This was their first big budget feature they were assigned to provide effects for. In all honestly, I really like it. It’s not better than the other effects of the previous films due to them being mostly practical but it’s pretty damn impressive all things considered. AND NEARLY EVERYONE MAKES IT BACK ALIVE!!!

Though the direction is sloppy, Aliens Resurrection is a better comeback sequel and a major improvement from 3 which is a gigantic piece of shit of a movie. 

RATING: 3/5 | 61%


PROMETHUS (2012)

People say since this is the prequel to Alien, I should watch this first.

WELL, I LIKE WATCHING MOVIES THAT ARE RELEASED PERIODICALLY NOT BY HOW THEIR STORY IS CHRONOLOGICALLY!

Now, this is what I like to see; Ridley Scott coming back to the franchise that he created to go back to his baby after many of years of other directors fucking it up. And by many, I just mean David Fincher and Jean-Pierre Jeunet. And what the fuck is happening?

An Alien dude just drank a liquid and just straight up died. Um, did not expect something as strange as that to open a movie. And he looks like Supreme Leader Snoke.

It is nice to see a cast that I recognize show up in this movie. Hey, its Fassbender. Hey, its Idris Elba. HEY, Charlize Theron. YAY I RECOGNIZE PEOPLE! I kind of hope this movie isn’t the Star Wars Phantom Menace of Alien movies. I have Alien 3 for that.

NOT EVEN 24 HOURS AFTER WATCHING IT AND I’M STILL CUTTING ITS ASS!

So I’m guessing this takes place in the future still, but not waaaaay into the future. Only Ridley Scott can perfect the art of directing space films. The effects in this are both beautiful and theatrical. 

Is there anything Charlize can’t do. There’s no other actress in Hollywood right now that can play canning and evil more than her.

Spoiler Alert: Prometheus is the ship these scientists came in. 

For a Ridley Scott film, I love the Sci-Fi elements that are going on. It's not just a straight up Sci-Fi horror film. But more of just a Sci-Fi movie with just some horror elements that don't kick in until the hour mark.

I like Fassbender’s David, he’s like a baby Android. He’s innocent with a curious mind but has enough intelligence to conjure meaningful conversations. Fassbender plays robot rather very strong. HIs performance in this is pretty good.

It's not until the 1 hr and 4-minute mark for somebody to get grotesquely killed by a snake-like creature. I’m not saying that I was bored, but the film was pacing a bit too slow for me.

CAN PEOPLE LEARN WHOEVER IS CONTAMINATED NEEDS TO BE QUARANTINED? Sorry, Holloway, you have to go.

I like for a prequel the technology is more advanced than the rest of the systems in the original. When shaw gets herself surgery to take the Alien-buster out of her stomach, the machine does all the work for her in a matter of 5 minutes.

Oh and  Fifield is back for vengeance. Granted he’s mutilated, he just kills some of his crewmates. This is partly because Charlize Theron burned him senselessly, but hey it leads to some cool gore.

So they opened up Supreme Leader Snoke’s pod and awakened him ONLY FOR HIM TO GO ON A MURDEROUS RAMPAGE! Well DUH! It's just looking down at them like:

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From what I learn from this franchise is that if you are able to give birth to an alien and live, the Xenomorph will have nothing but full loyalty to you. I LOVE THAT! To give birth to a Xenomorph and live is like giving birth to this mutilated child is awesome because nobody will fuck with you. Wanna mess with me? I got my alien son to kick your ass.

I’m still trying to think how is this a prequel to Alien, besides the fact the chest bursting effect is used a lot here, but hey I have until Alien Covenant to see how all this will go down. 

Though this is a sort of dull movie with a good amount of gore, Scott tries his best to make this prequel work with his effects and gore. 

RATING: 2.5/5 | 57%

THUS CONCLUDES MY ALIEN FRANCHISE REVISIT. Boy did this franchise wear me out. I honestly didn’t expect much from this franchise, but honestly, I’m glad I experienced the best and worst of this franchise. 

Stay tuned this week for I review Alien Covenant in theaters May 19th. 

REVIEW WILL BY POSTED BY THE END OF THIS WEEK!

Rendy REvisits: The Diary of A Wimpy Kid Trilogy

Rendy REvisits: The Diary of A Wimpy Kid Trilogy